Watz your flava? tell me watz your flava
by strawberrykisses101
Summary: itz LanceKitty ::no itz not a songfic:: my 1st tri wit humor


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Author's note: my 1st attempt wit humor. kill me if u must, but i needed 2 bring this out in the open b4 i bursted........FROM LAUGHIN!!!!!! k im done now

watz your flava? tell me watz ur flava

by strawberrykisses101

'_I _wanna kill myself now. I _wanna_ kill myself now. I wanna _kill_ myself now. I wanna kill _myself_ now. I wanna kill myself _now_.' I pronounce every word with as much malice as I could possibly can, hoping that someone can grant me this glorious wish. How the hell did I get into this? If your wondering, I'm Lance. I know you have no clue what's going on. So let me explain.......

*FLASHBACK*

"I'm telling you, I am the king........"

Pietro has been annoying the crap outta me for 15 hours straight, telling me how he can beat anybody at basketball. He started his endless bragging when he scored the winning shot for his team at yesterday's basketball game. I'm surprised his gloating didn't cause his head to swell to the size of North America. And he was p_i _s _s _i _ n_g me off.

"Did you see how I dunked that ball?!?! And how the crowd went will....... for _me?_"

I swear I want to shoot him.

"Bet you nobody can beat me."

__

Ding, Ding

"Are you sure about that?" I heard myself say, "Then I guess you never played against me."

The truth was, I didn't play basketball that much. It's an ok game I guess, but when someone would ask me to play, I'd pass. But this was different. I wanted this guy to shut up and I wanted to see his deflated ego when I'd spank him (AN: mind you, not spank literally but spank as in beating him. Now that I think of it, **LOL**) . 

"Ah. Lil' Lance getting jealous of the Quicksilver here, eh?" he replied coyly.

"Shut up. One-on-one- just you and me. The loser has to do whatever the winner wants him to do for a _week_." I can just picture it: Pietro dressed as a cow at the Dairy Queen, saying to everyone would enter: DQ! The place to be, where we can give you mmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooooooooore!

Needless to say, the game was finished right after we began. He scored shots one after another. I would've started an earthquake to slow him down, but the game was already done. I didn't even hold the ball once! Damn him and that stupid power of his.

I wanted to shoot myself right there when I saw him twirling the ball on his fingers, giving me the most evil look I've ever seen.

*END FLASHBACK*

Me and the other guys (Pietro, Fred, and Toad) were walking around the local plaza. Pietro keeps giving me the eye. I swear he's like a crouching tiger, waiting for the prey. 

"Nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing bad is going to hap-"

"Look, Lance!" Pietro said, cutting off my wishful thinking. He pointed to a Dippin' Dots. There was a 'Help Wanted' sign on the window. _Frickin' crap_. 

"Didn't you want to work there? I could've _sworn _you said you wanted to work there. Something about it being your dream job." When this week is over, I vow that Pietro will be swapping spit with the toilet when this week is over.

Fred and Toad started jeering as we walked into Dippin' Dots. I gave Pietro a dirty look and asked the guy who was working there for the manager.

A door bursted open. The guy, who I assumed was the manager, looked like an over-grown baby and had a face on like he just finished making a mud pie or something like that. I wanted to get out now.....

"Uh, I saw that help wanted sign on the window......" I heard the others snickering. I clenched my fists, trying to suppress my humilation. 

I figured that the guy would probably want to know my past working experience, so I started rambling, "I had a few other jobs before...." I heard the guys' snickering becoming louder.

"....there was this one time the buildling I accidentally caused to collapse, but it wasn't entirely my fault!!! I got fired on the spot, but still......." A worker there gave me a weird look.

"Look kid, do you know how to use an ice cream scooper?" he asked impatiently. His expression turned from overjoyed to annoyed. Bet you anything he didn't listen to a word I said.

"Uh, yea....."

"Then, your hired." The manager gave me an apron that was covered with blue, green, and _pink_ dots and had _frills_ at the edges. The guys' snickering on the brink of losing it. I stared at this sorry excuse for a piece of clothing. He better not expect me to wear this.

"Kid, you have to wear it." With that, the guy went into another room.

I heard the guys howling with laughter as one of them let out a whistle. I am _so_ gonna kill Pietro......

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day........

"SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

"NO FRIGGIN WAY IN HELL!!!!!!!"

"SAY IT!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I'M QUITTING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I threw my apron on the floor and stepped on it.

"Nu uh uh," Pietro waved his finger with each syllable, "We had a deal and your gonna go through it." 

"Too bad, I'm outta here." I headed straight for the door. 

"Do it or else I'll show everyone at school this....." He took out a picture.

I turned around to see what he was talking about and i swear I felt my eyes bulging out of their sockets. It was a picture of me when I was a baby. I'm on a skin rug, wearing _nothing._

"How did you get that?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?" I tried to snatch it out of his hands.

"I have my......resources." he replied slyly, "Now, do what I say or the picture will be all over Bayville."

He won. I picked up my apron, that now has a big footprint on it. What the hell have I got myself into??!?!!?!?

"Ass."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Whatever, now you have to say it before a customer orders."

On cue, someone walks in. It was a guy with his little daughter. 

"Hi, I'm Dip from Dippin' Dots, a place where nobody dips you, but a place where you can get someone to dip for _you_." I say through clenched teeth. I have no clue why Pietro wanted me to say this. It didn't even make sense for criminy's sake.

"Faster." Pietro said.

"Hi,I'mDipfromDippin'Dots,aplacewherenobodydipsyou,butaplacewhereyoucangetsomeonetodipforyou."

I really feel sorry for this guy and his daughter........

"LOUDER!!!!!!" Pietro was having too much fun.

"HI,I'MDIPFROMDIPPIN'DOTS,APLACEWHERENOBODYDIPSYOU,BUTAPLACEWHEREYOUCANGETSOMEONETODIPFORYOU!!!!!!!!!"

"Now wink at the end of the phrase."

"YOUR GOING TO DI-"

"Um, Dip?" the little girl interrupted.

"Uh, yea?" I replied.

"If your name is Dip, then why does your name tag say Lance?"

Before, I can say anything, I heard her dad saying that they had to go. He grabbed the girl's hand as he dragged her outta the store, mumbling about how today's generation are a bunch of idiots.

O yea, where was I? _I wanna kill myself now............._

Later on......

The day seemed to drag on and on. I lost about 30 customers today. Pietro practically had tears in his eyes every time I would say the damn phrase. It was like an unwritten system for scaring away customers: I creep them out with the phrase and Pietro drives them out with his hyena laughter. Business was slow for now. I think the customers have been telling other people not to come here. I'm grateful.

"O well, since I'm here, I might as well get something." Pietro announced.

"I'm not saying the phrase."

"Don't need to. My stomach's sore anyways."

"Well, when this week's over, so will your whole body."

"Whatever. Oooooohhhhhhh, banana split. But the chocolate also seems good. How 'bout this? Or that?........"

"Would you hurry up?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?"

"Is there any ice cream that doesn't come in dots?"

I wonder if it's possible to kill myself with an ice cream scooper.

To be continued........

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A/N: NO ITZ NOT LANCE/PIETRO!!!!!!! ::SHUDDERS:: ihavenolife13 pointed this out + NO ITZ NOT!!!!!!!!! ITZ LANCE/KITTY!!!!! My God, do i suck @ humor or wat?!?!?!?! who carez!?!?!? reed + repli!!!!! this is just an introduction...... the romance will come lata...BTWEEN LANCE AND KITTY!!!!!!!!! 


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